


Of Love, Beards, and Twitter

by randomquixen



Series: The Day Stiles Met his Future Husband [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: AU, Crack, M/M, Text Messages, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-01
Updated: 2014-04-01
Packaged: 2018-01-17 18:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1398553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomquixen/pseuds/randomquixen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The continuation and ending of The Epic Love Story of Stiles and Hot Bearded Guy</p><p>The series of text messages that cataloged the post-flight, toblerone and rolo filled reunion</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Love, Beards, and Twitter

**Author's Note:**

> I highly suggest reading the other half first because while this may be amusing, it probably won't make much sense otherwise. 
> 
> This was actually 100% me as opposed to the original which was Korey's tweets and also mostly in text messages.  
> I hope this fulfills all your wildest hopes and dreams for what this story would become!
> 
> To explain why Derek disappeared in the last one, I had them go to different airports as their final destination. I just googled Califonia airports and picked two that were right next to each other. It's total BS but if someone has more accurate information I'll totally fix it.

Text from Derek Hale to Isaac Lahey

Where are you? I just landed at Palmdale and I’m leaving the terminal now.

 

From Isaac to Derek

I’m in the atrium. I’m parked illegally so don’t take long.

 

From Derek

I’m hurrying.

 

From Derek

Are we going straight to your house?

 

From Isaac

Yeah, the others are meeting us there. Scott has to pick up Stiles from Pasadena airport.

 

From Derek

What’s a Stiles?

 

From Isaac

Stiles is my roommate and a beautiful man who is bringing me Toblerone. If you’re nice he might give you one too.

 

From Derek

You aren’t setting me up are you? I told you that I am not going to date anyone right now.

 

From Derek

If you and Laura set this up I will kill both of you in wild and dramatic ways.  

 

From Isaac

No dude, no one is forcing men on you. Do what you want, I don’t care.

 

From Isaac

And Laura doesn’t tell me what to do, I run my own life.

 

From Isaac

Don’t tell her I said that.

 

From Isaac

Besides, Stiles has declared himself in love with someone else. Not even the promise of your hot beard got him interested.

 

From Derek

Why did you just refer to my beard as hot?

 

From Derek

Is there something I should know?

 

From Isaac

Nah, dude, just be aware that Stiles is endlessly in love with a man with a hot beard. His words not mine.

 

From Isaac

I don’t care about it, I just want the Toblerone. He did get you one too.

 

From Derek

I hate Toblerone.

 

From Isaac

Of course you do.

 

From Isaac

I heard speak of Rolos at some point too. Maybe you can convince him to share those.

 

From Derek

I _do_ like those.

 

From Isaac

You pop those things like drug addicts pops pills. I know you like them.

 

From Isaac

But that doesn’t mean you will be able to convince Stiles to part with them. He has an emotional attachment.

 

From Derek

I think I see you

 

From Isaac

Could you look any more homeless? What is that, a hat? Was it meant to be a beanie in another life?

 

From Derek

Shut up. I love this hat.

 

From Isaac

You would.

 

 

 

From Isaac to Scott

I just picked up Derek and we are heading to the house, where are you now?

 

From Scott to Isaac

Stiles is looking for his luggage, they might have lost it.

 

From Isaac

Does he still have my Toblerone?

 

From Scott

Bigger fish, dude

 

From Isaac

Whatever, I’ll get Derek settled. I think he needs to shower and he definitely needs to shave. He looks homeless.

 

From Scott

I’ll get Stiles there as soon as possible.

 

From Isaac

KK

 

 

 

From Stiles to Isaac

Crisis averted! My luggage has been found.

 

From Isaac

How anyone manages to lose a duct-taped rainbow suitcase is beyond me.

 

From Stiles

Don’t hate. I will withhold Toblerone.

 

From Isaac

Do not threaten my Toblerone.

 

From Stiles

You have an unhealthy attachment to this chocolate and nougat.

 

From Isaac

You’re one to talk. What exactly is your future husband’s name again?

 

From Stiles

His name is unimportant, it is only the phonemes to which he responds.

 

From Stiles

Have you even had Toblerone before?

 

From Isaac

No. But that doesn’t mean I won’t love it. I feel like I love it already.

 

From Stiles

Maybe we are kindred spirits. I feel a new connection to you.

 

From Isaac

I don’t know how to feel about that.

 

From Stiles

Accept the irrational love. Accept the Toblerone.

 

 

 

From Scott to Isaac

We are on our way.

 

From Isaac

Cool. Derek is in the shower. Do have an extra razor? He forgot his.

 

From Scott

Yeah, under the sink.

 

 

 

From Stiles to Allison

I’m heartbroken. My love has been taken too soon.

 

From Allison

I’m so sorry. Lydia and I were already planning your wedding colors.

 

From Stiles

Awww! What were they?

 

From Allison

Forest green and cream.

 

From Allison

Are you and Scott nearly here, I really want you to meet Derek.

 

From Stiles

We are five minutes out. Why what’s up with Derek?

 

From Allison

He has a really hot beard.

 

From Scott to Allison

Are you attracted to beards? Why didn’t you tell me? I could grow a beard! I’ll grow a beard if you want me to!

 

From Allison to Scott

No, Scott, do not grow a beard. I’m not attracted to fur on a man’s face, but I know Stiles is.

 

From Allison to Stiles

Why did you tell him I said that! Don’t tell him things like that! He offered to grow a beard! Have you seen the hair he is capable of growing? Those scraggly bits of stringy hair are terrifying!

 

From Stiles

I’m so sorry! He demanded to know what I was texting you and then he stole my phone!

 

From Stiles

We’re here.

 

 

 

From Derek to Laura

I just accidentally flashed the really hot phone guy from the airport.

 

From Laura

You flashed in the middle of an airport???!!!!???? What the hell are you doing with your life?

 

From Derek

No not in the airport, at Isaac’s house. Apparently he and Stiles live together.

 

 

From Derek

STILES IS RIDICULOUSLY HOT AND I JUST DROPPED MY TOWEL IN FRONT OF HIM!

 

From Laura

WOOHOO! Go you, Derek! Getting it back out there!

 

From Derek

No woohoo, we are not woohoo-ing! He looked at my dick, epped, and then ran out the door.

 

From Laura

He left the house? Not that I want details at all or ever, but was there a reason for him to run away from your dick. Any reason, big or small?

 

From Derek

Oh my god, no Laura! We are never talking about this. But no there is nothing there that would inspire anyone to run for the hills.

 

From Derek

And he only went downstairs.

 

From Derek

I’m still terrified to leave the room.

 

 

 

Group Chat: Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin, Allison Argent

Stiles: Hot bearded guy is upstairs and I just saw his cock

Lydia: How?

Stiles: He just got out of the shower and I walked in to the bathroom without realizing it was occupied.

Stiles: I think he dropped his towel in shock.

Stiles: I made very solid eye contact and then accidentally dropped my gaze and made a whole other kind of eye contact.

Lydia: was it big?

Stiles: I had to resist the urge to drop on my knees and bow to it

Stiles: what are the chances that he would be here?

Lydia: either really small or actually fairly likely.

Lydia: it depends on what you input as your standard values.

Stiles: I think its fate

Stiles: Fate wants us together. We are clearly compatible, I have seen very clearly how well Derek’s Tab A would fit into my Slot B.

Allison: OMG Stiles he is right upstairs and I have to talk to him in a minute. Don’t tell me about his cock

Stiles: It was uncut

Allison: I’m never going to be able to look him in the eye.

Lydia: while you are avoiding his eyes, take a look at his crotch and tell me about how well he fills his pants.

Allison: Stop! I’m never going to be able to look at Scott now either

Allison: I refuse to look below the belt

Allison: just thinking about it feels like cheating

Stiles: Oh my god he is coming down!

Lydia: Why do I have to be in Boston?

Lydia: send me so many pictures

Allison: Dammit

Allison: I looked

Allison: the bulge is relatively impressive

Allison: I’m going to hell

 

Isaac Lahey @Iscacick

Finally got my Toblerone! Going to try it in a minute!

 

 

From Derek to Laura

Stiles just asked if I have a twitter. He seems really nervous. If he isn’t gay and I just terrified him with my dick I’m going to crawl in a hole and die.

 

From Laura

Not his hole.

 

From Laura

I’m sorry! As soon as I sent that I regretted it.

 

From Derek

I’m traumatized.

 

From Derek

They are talking about something called HBG. Isaac said it was a good thing that I didn’t get a chance to shave yet.

 

From Derek

Isaac tried to show me something on Twitter and Stiles tackled him.

 

From Derek

Stiles is really strong.

 

From Derek

I really hope he is into dudes.

 

From Derek

And that he isn’t traumatized by seeing my dick.

 

From Derek

He has this lithe body, lightly muscled. Oh my god, his shirt is riding up. Dammit, I can’t look away.

 

From Laura

I can’t figure out if I am happy for you or disgusted.

 

From Laura

I’m going to pretend it is the former.

 

From Laura

It’s still a little bit of the latter.

 

From Derek

Isaac gave me his phone to show me something on Twitter. He had to sit on Stiles to get the phone to me. I’m a little worried.

 

From Derek

Apparently Stiles noticed me at the airport!

 

From Derek

There are a lot of tweets here

 

From Laura

What is his twitter handle?

 

From Derek

His what?

 

From Laura

The @ thing

 

From Derek

@bilinskiS.

 

From Derek

I don’t know if I’m flattered or disturbed.

 

From Derek

There are over forty tweets here

 

From Derek

He has 345 followers! 345 people know how much I like Rolos.

 

From Laura

Oh my god these are hilarious! I love this kid. Besides, it’s not like you can talk, you gave me a play by play of his every movement.

 

From Laura

You were angsty that he was texting so much. You got sad because you thought it was probably a boyfriend!

 

From Laura

You refused to sleep on the plane in case you missed him walking by!

 

From Derek

But Laura, 345 people know about our apparent wedding

 

From Derek

346! There are 346 people following him now!

 

From Derek

Wait, is that you? Did you just follow him?

 

From Laura

It’s important I keep up to date with my future brother-in-law.

 

From Derek

I hate you

 

 

 

From Isaac to Laura

There was screaming and taunting and phone waving between your brother and my roommate.

 

From Isaac

Your brother and my roommate are making out.

 

 

 **Stiles Stilinski** changed his status to **In a Relationship**  with **Derek Hale**

**346 people like this**

Isaac Lahey @Iscacick

I have now discovered how absolutely bat shit the people in my life are, but at least I am now finally alone with my Toblerone.

 

Isaac Lahey @Iscacick

OH MY GOD TOBLERONE ARE DISGUSTING! WHY IS THIS A THING?

 

Toblerone @Toblerone

@Iscacick I resent that.

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to be shameless--- Here I am on Tumblr--> http://burn1ngpag3s.tumblr.com/


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